A Squirrel Tale

Squirrels can be the ultimate litter bugs. Sure they look sweet, but they can take a perfectly decent yard and turn it into the parking lot after a Dave Matthews Concert. Seriously, it’s like my yard is party central for all of the neighborhood squirrels. Of course it doesn’t help that the biggest nut-keg of them all is rooted right outside my back door. This enormous tree stands at least 40 feet tall and produces large nuts that make a loud “whump” sound when they hit the ground. If one falls on the gas grill you’d swear someone just thru a baseball at it. The noise is loud and can be quite startling! And based on the activity outside my kitchen window, this generous giver of all that is nutty is the main winter sustenance for dozens of happy squirrels.

For the past three weeks or so these furried nut munchers have been living it up in my yard and leaving the evidence all over my yard, walkways and driveway. Half-eaten nuts, broken apart nut shells, and newly-fallen, yet-to-be cracked nuts are scattered around my property like it’s the very first squirrel Thanksgiving and these little critters are determined to make the most of their new-found holiday. Now I’m all for having a good time, but at least clean up after yourselves! Is it too much to ask that the squirrels take the shells with them? I’m willing to compromise, even. How about just put them in little piles for pick-up? I clean up after my dog. I’d be willing to clean up some nuts here and there too.

I don’t remember the squirrels being like this when I was a kid. My parents never had a problem with rowdy squirrels. Just who is raising these squirrels today? Where are their squirrely parents? Aren’t they teaching them about respecting nature? It’s just nuts.

Luckily for me party season is coming to an end, so I know these wild nutlovers won’t be setting up shakedown in my backyard much longer. I just hope I don’t go nutty before then. It’s getting mighty squirrely ’round these parts!

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